


So We Say Goodbye

by clownerooni



Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23523292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clownerooni/pseuds/clownerooni
Summary: Toki convinces the gang to hold a ceremony of death for Magnus.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	So We Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> this is kinda dipped with a few unmentioned headcanons I guess, man.i got complex feelins for Magnus.  
> I just really love these fools... keep them alive
> 
> Also Toki is mostly delusional

It was Toki who demanded that Magnus be given a proper burial and it was Toki who demanded that he would be buried on Mordhaus grounds.

Everyone was feeling far too guilty about everything that went down to even consider denying that horrible request, so they allowed for Toki to make the preparations straight from his personal hospital bed.  
As well as not opposing the idea, no one really outright respected the idea.  
Instead everyone just kind of ignored it, and whenever Toki was muttering about it to himself they chose to ignore that too. 

The only one who truly had an open opinion about it was Abigail.  
Abigail was furious, she too didn't feel the morbid need to crush everything Toki was working toward, so instead, she delicately implanted the idea that maybe, just maybe Magnus didn't deserve to be held in such high regards.  
To which Toki responded that everyone deserves a second chance and that even Magnus deserved to rest in peace. 

What do you even say to something like that?

Abigail would, however, chew the ear off of anybody who was willing to listen.  
Hissing and spitting about this and that and getting near manic when she spoke of the horrible things Magnus put Toki through.  
The harsh realities settled poorly in each band member’s gut.  
But nobody had the courage to tell him, god have mercy, no. 

So, Magnus didn't have family to claim him, or any friends for that matter so his body was… technically up for grabs.  
Toki jumped at that opportunity and immediately had him cremated and placed in a solid onyx urn and then… had it placed in his own recovery room. 

Right by his bed.

It creeped everybody out, but he wasn't sleeping well in the first place, so his abductor’s ashes weren't going to phase him one bit.  
With that taken care of, Toki then requested the order of a Nordic ash tree.

.

“It’s um..” Toki paused and glanced around at everyone a little timidly until Skwisgaar nodded at him in encouragement.  
“This trees, planted withs the ashes of the deads. So deads ones will… becomes a tree.”  
Skwisgaar, sensing the Norwegian’s hesitance, took over.

“It ams tradiskonalies ins the cultures. De tree ams connections betweenst worlds.” 

Toki nodded feverishly and flipped his small laptop around to show a diagram of a tree and all the worlds it connected to.  
“Dis ams where Magnus… goes.” Toki pointed at the floating bubble marked as underworld. “He just needs uh-”  
“He needs helps gettinsk ders.” Skwisgaar finished, earning a grateful smile from Toki. 

Nobody truly understood, but they accepted it and gladly offered the funds for the shipment of such a tree. 

The tree arrived a 5 days later-

“How do you even transchport a grown asch tree?”  
“Carefulies.”

-and the Klokateers set to work digging up a hole big enough for the tree to be placed.  
Toki made sure he could see from his window the harrowing process and would always glance back at the onyx urn and touch the lid ever so carefully.  
A silent promise that Magnus would soon be free from the prison of this life, and move onto another. 

It would be 2 weeks before the hole was large and deep enough for the massive tree, and it was the perfect time too. 

Toki was ready to start getting away from all the medical machinery and the nurses and start taking care of himself again.  
So the first thing he did was make the trek to the hole where the tree was going to be placed, the rest of his bandmates in tow and the urn tucked carefully in his arms. 

Abigail opted not to join, despite the hopeful invitation.

There was a feeling of solidarity in the crisp spring air, it felt like the perfect day for a funeral. With the sunlight dancing past the leaves of the trees, but fluffy greying clouds on the edge of the sky.  
Toki inhaled a lung full of fresh air and pressed onward, letting all of his worries wash away.

The five of them ended up standing at the edge of the hole, looking down into the depths with varying looks of distress and none of them could say why.  
Maybe it was the sense of finality, or maybe it was just because the hole was emitting an ominous howl. 

Without a word, Toki removed the lid of the urn and shakily held it out in front of himself.  
He thought for a moment, then pulled it back to his chest to look into it.

“What’re you doin’ Toki? Waitin’ for him to talk or somethin’?” Pickles chimed. The brunette shook his head and then plunged his hand into the ashes.

“Oh, thatsch schick, Toki!” Murderface groveled, gaping at the sight.

“Uhm. That’s disrespectful isn't it?” Nathan made a face and put his hand up to semi shield the scene before him.

Again, Toki ignored them and grabbed a solid handful of what remained of Magnus Hammersmith.  
He surveyed the pile of dust, then spoke,  
“I hopes dat Magnus wills… not feels so lonelies anymores.” Toki’s voice was so soft that the others could just barely make it out.  
Then he blew, and the ashes went soaring out into the vast dirt pit, showering down in random directions as they all solemnly watched.

Toki hesitantly held out the urn to the person next in line, Pickles. 

“Oh, you want me to uh... “ Toki shook his head and just told him to do what he wanted. 

Pickles contemplated for a moment, then tenderly reached out to hold the urn in his arms. He muttered a couple of things begrudgingly to himself and then lodged his hand into the pile as well.

“You’ve made me feel sick t'my stomach for years and I hate that I never fuckin’ forgot ya'. You are the biggest douchbeg in the universe for that… and fuck you. You were a pretty good guitarist.” and after that spiel, Pickles chucked his own handful of ash out into the hole and shoved the urn at Skwisgaar with a snort. 

Like Pickles, Skwisgaar looked kind of hesitant. But he too scooped up some of Magnus’ ashes and fell into a brief moment of thought.  
He looked to his left at Pickles and Toki, and then to his right at Nathan and Murderface before scowling and bringing his fist, closed around the handful of ash, to his lips and whispering words no one else could hear into it.  
After a good 40 seconds or so, Skwisgaar threw his arm out and released the dust in a fluid and dramatized movement. 

Then he passed the urn to Nathan.

Nathan put his eye to the opening of the urn and peered into it. He didn't really expect much but it was still disheartening to see a dull pile of grey lying at the bottom.  
He tried to put his hand into the urn and found that the opening was way too small for his big hands and ended up sprinkling the ashes out onto his palm instead.

“Okay, um.” Nathan eyed the ashes and pauses to think for quite some time. So long, that everyone figured he didn't have a single thing to say.

“There was one time, Mag- uh. Magnus was stoned out of his mind, but he said this thing. That I think about a lot. He said somethin’ like… ‘what do you call the most useless piece of skin on a dick?’ And then he said it was the man and I laughed for a solid 2 minutes.”  
Nathan held out his hand and trembled ever so slightly.  
“He was fuckin’ funny.”  
And then he turned his hand over, letting the ashes float out of his grasp.

He shoved the urn into Murderface’s arms and everyone patiently waited for whatever he was going to lay down. Knowing Murderface he would probably be the one to go tossing the entire fucking urn into the hole itself which, despite Toki's disappointment, would be valid in this strange excersize.  
All eyes were on him. 

Murderface was staring long and hard at the jar in his grasp, unmoving and unreadable. Then he glanced to the others, doubletaking to find that they were on his ass right now.  
"What are you looking at!?" He was on the immediate defense, scrunching his brows and shooting a hideous glare.  
He looked back down at the ashes, a look of uncertainty passing over his face.

His lips started to curl, only Pickles and Toki noticed the moisture that was quickly building in his yellow eyes, and his face only continued to scrunch.  
"Ah, what the fuck isch thisch bullschit anyway? Thisch isch scho fucking schtupid. You- you really think thisch asschhole deschervesch schomething like thisch!?" He started swinging his arms around, close to hitting Nathan right in the face at least three times.

And they were all silent, those aside from Toki cringing at Murderface's outburst, but the kid didn't look hurt or disappointed, he looked sympathetic. 

Even with Murderface's death glare cutting into him.

The waterworks started up and it all went downhill from there. 

"What did he ever do for usch? He schtabbed Nathan, trasched all our schit, n' left me behind without a fucking word!" His voice was straining, and to everyone's surprise, he didn't suck those words back up.  
"The filthy douschebag told me that we were in it together no matter what, schaid that if thingsch didn't work out, that we would fuck off on our own and blow everyone out of the water, thatsch what he schaid!" 

Murderface's tears were falling in, slipping into the urn much to the others' disdain. 

"Not that it mattersch…" he tacked on, so quiet they nearly missed it.  
His hand finally plunged, aggressively, into the jar and grabbed a fistful of Magnus. 

"But maybe it schaved my assch the fucking trouble! Becausche he goesch apeschit and then comesch out here, hasch the nerve to come out of buttfucking nowhere and turn our livesch into hell for almoscht half a fucking year!" He was getting louder, and he chucked the handful into the hole, hastily going in for another. 

"I mean fuck! Toki, whatsch wrong with you, why the fuck do you think thisch isch a good idea, itsch schtupid! Itsch all fucking schtupid!" He reeled back and pitched the second hand of ash into the hole. 

"He wasch a fraud, he wasch a dischguschting traitor, he schaid I schould keep playing the bassch, he told me the bassch wasch important, i schure fucking thought I wasch important. Or- or schomething!" His voice tilted on being childish, his lips were starting to tremble and his face was getting more slimy with snot and tears by the second. 

"But that doeschn't matter anymore either." He got solemn, and he lost himself for a moment, blinking rapidly.  
He sniffled loudly, and panted.

"Then you went fucking balischtic!" Then he was back to absolutely furious as he started to lob handfuls after handfuls of the ash out into the Earth.  
"And fucked! Around! With Toki fucking Wartooth!" The man was screaming now, 

"Everything you did wasch uschelesch and- and you descherved to kill yourschelf you- you…!" Murderface crumpled after the 8th rain of ashes, throwing an arm over his face and snorting hard and loud as he cried. 

"I don't underschtand why you did a schingle fucking thing you did. None of thisch… you weren't fucking like that." He hiccuped, and grounded his teeth together.  
"N' you hurt Toki for- becausche you're a fucking coward." Now he was practically whimpering.

He feebly reached in for one more throw, and paused to look at his balled up fist like it was Magnus himself.  
"For schome reaschon, you're schtill…" he held his hand close to his chest for a moment, then stretched his arm out.  
"One of my brothersch." 

Murderface had come out of the whole kidnapping situation really taken to the idea of brothers and was making a point to mention it as much as possible.  
To Toki especially.  
This was a… pretty big step in the right direction. 

And it left the air wistful as he released the gray dust. 

They were all dead silent for a while.  
Everyone's eyes had moved back to the hole where they promptly got lost in each of their respective thoughts.

An undetermined amount of time passed.

"May, uh, I intervene." And all at once the five whipped their heads around, with their similar looks of shock and unfiltered emotion.  
Offdenson himself was striding his way toward them, adorning a nicely fitted, full black suit.  
His glasses were gone, and a familiar medallion hung from his neck.

Such small changes that made this man look like a new one entirely.

Toki abruptly lunged at him and wrapped his arms around the man in a steel tight grip.  
Like he was never going to let him go. 

"Charles!" He was already crying, "please intersvenes always." 

The stiff man actually visibly relaxed, not just wrapping a single arm around Toki but two, in fact holding him very close for a very tender moment.  
He felt like he had to be so delicate, Toki was affected so severely by the malnourishment that even now he felt far too light.

"It's very nice to see you, Toki." He mused, holding him by the shoulders as he pulled back, really looking at the man for a long time.  
Not even just the weight, Toki's whole demeanor has changed.

His hair had been cut a bit shorter, his mustache was missing from his baby face, and the look in his eye lacked that sparkling luster they still managed to have just before the disaster.  
Toki Wartooth made Charles' heart ache. 

With a wry smile, Charles pulled himself from Toki. 

As he addressed the group in full, he didn't bring attention to the mess that Murderface had become, and still was as his tears continued to fall.  
"It's so very nice to see all of you."

Nathan looked almost guilty, Skwisgaar distant, Pickles was non-stop shaking his leg or swaying back and forth and Charles became antsy himself at just one glance.  
He sighed.

"Alright, what are we doing here?" He looked to Toki. 

"Uhm, we ams…" the brunette gestured for Murderface to relinquish the urn to him, who did albeit hesitantly.  
"Reachin' ins there and gettin' some Magnus. Then saying whatevers we wants, thens the ashes what's we toss intos the hole!" He held out the pottery and looked at him with wide and genuine blue eyes. 

Charles hid his discomfort and cradled the black container in his arm as he approached the pit. 

"You all have?" He had to ask, not really looking to Murderface, but the others.  
They all nodded, a little sadly he noted.  
He hummed.

"Well I, uh, can't say I'm very happy with Mag-" the man faltered, "you, Magnus."  
Of course you can leave it to Charles to have a nicely thought out and well worded thing to say about the man at hand, but he also did look like he was struggling. 

"From the beginning you made it very hard for this band, and thus you became a very large thorn in my side."  
The 6 of them were all hanging their heads now, looking down into the Earth, with thoughts of the lost racing through their minds.  
.  
"Can't say I, uh, wasn't glad when Nathan booted you, in fact I was quite relieved. You were never a pleasant man, and it was very difficult to remain in a room with you for more than ten minutes because you would always end up causing or provoking some kind of trouble." 

Charles rolled his eyes, taking a moment to let that lingering sensation of irritation pass before continuing. 

"I was, however, fairly remorseful of the state you fell into after it all. I, uh, kept tabs on you for quite some time, maybe I was- well, maybe I was a little concerned. And I clearly had rite to be." 

Charles paused for a moment, pondering on whether or not to tell the band his thoughts and his truths, before quickly realizing that these were full grown adults.  
He refused to withhold anything from them again. 

"I did try to reach out…" He immediately gained everyone's attention. "He had fallen deep. Drugs- heroine, using every last thing he owned just to get a fix… when I reached out, he just spit in my face and left it at that. So, well, that was that." With his story finished, Charles reached into the ashes. 

"You disappeared and I didn't care to look. When you reappeared I didn't watch you close enough and that kind of, uh, pisses me off quite a lot actually. You harmed someone very dear to me-" Toki made some sort of noise, something sad, happy, excited?  
"And I could never, ever forgive you for your actions. I, in fact, feel they shouldn't be forgiven in the first place." Charles composed his growing disdain. 

"But I do know you were a very sick man. You genuinely believed what you were doing was right… And that's simply raw human error."  
Something crossed Charles' face for a moment.  
"However, Magnus, I do believe you need good rest. I hope that for you. I, uh, really do." 

With that the ash left his hand, and the quiet took over again. 

So after a while, someone questioned the contents of the urn as it was. 

"There's still quite some bit left." Charles answered flatly, returning it to Toki's care. 

"Alrights well-"  
"Hey, I have more stuff to say! Now…" Nathan declared, giving Toki a sheepish look.  
To which the other man beamed.  
"We goes around untils he ams no more!" He held the urn above his head.

So they did, they passed it around. From Toki, to Pickles, to Skwisgaar, to Nathan, to Murderface, then to Charles and so on. 

-

"Y'knows it's kinda mess ups but. Befores… everything… yous stays on the phones with me a whole days. You keeps complainin' buts ya' never hangs up!" Toki smiled sadly, "I likes that memories… I also believes it ams honest."

-

"There was one time where someone like, seriously almost raped me, swear to god, but Magnus kicked his ass. Then we got real drunk, he could be a real dude sometimes, y'know. Despite bein' a dildo."

-

"Yous ams the bests rhythms guitarists I has but likes way afters Toki."

-

"'You're not a necrophiliac if you, heh, finish before she dies.' Yeah that was fuckin' funny too."

-

"Fuck you, I fucking hate you, I fucking hate you! Pische of schit, dirty assch, fucking waschte of fucking-" 

-

"I did see a lot of potential in you, I know you hated yourself for being angry, it was clear to see, you were a sad, miserable man who didn't know what to do with himself… you, uh, certainly deserved better." 

-

"I saws you. Saws the regrets and- and I sees how sads you ams- were.  
Yous apolgasecs overs and overs, and I knows you means it.  
You hurts me, but it feels goods to hurt others sometimes...  
I wish… I wish we coulds have been friends insteads of alls this but yous was a real big idiots!  
But I believes that, deeps down, you cares.  
You don'ts really wants to hurts other people's. You hurts me, but I knows.  
I feels that way too, I wants to hurt others too.  
I forgives you, Magnus, for everythings."


End file.
